oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
