In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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