I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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