Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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