She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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