Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize