He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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