so explain again why im purple
no
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
