went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
