Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
