I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
