either way he was missing a nipple.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
