Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
