Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize