thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
