I have demons in me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
