Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
