Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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