Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize