i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
