How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
