Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
