So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
