Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
