At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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