I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
