i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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