Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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