why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
