does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How does it feel to date your dad?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize