your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
