Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
