who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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