It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize