4 words: hood of his car
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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