thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
