She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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