I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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