I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
