FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
