I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
