Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize