Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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