How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
