why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
