Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
