I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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