she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize