i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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