seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize