I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
