these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
