Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
