apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
