hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ladies don't puke and tell
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
