Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
