It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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