If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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