You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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