Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
