Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
