Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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