i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
