She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
