I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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