I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
