My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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