420 ftw
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
