:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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