your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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