words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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