Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
