I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
