We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
