Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
