i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
