Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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